i can tell you one thing

i hope you trust me

there is not much else to it

but you get me

for the most part

you read me

ahead of me

notice things

i don’t notice

please give me the courage to continue without looking back

please give me the strengh to move forward and not turn around

please just give me the energy to get shit done an not think about the past

i’ll be honest
i don’t care much
trust me
people always pretend to listen
so i don’t care much

you cared for my heart
so i cared for yours

but…

everyone is feigning love now
so why should i care much?

#me #morning #ink #tattoo (Taken with instagram)

it makes me sad that
i sit 3 feet away
i don’t have a single word to say
she doesn’t love me anymore
i do

it makes me sad
i regret my share of lies
she will never believe what i feel inside
she is becoming apathetic yet
she loves me

it makes me cry
now that i realize
i’m certain
that it won’t ever be forever
it makes me cry…

i’ve failed
i can’t give up
it hurts too much
i can continue to try
but i know her mind
set me on fire
i lied and lied
i cannot continue
because all she feels
are these lies
i’ve failed
i’ve failed
i’ve…

i’ve made plenty of mistakes
these stupid lies
no reason behind them
no reason to disguise
why couldn’t i let go of time
you always complain about time
bitch let it run
relax and close your eyes
say good bye to all
lies

But you can’t deny
The love was present
The love is now gone
But don’t deny
You still love my presence
Who am I kidding?
Do you see me slipping?
Times like these
I miss you the most
You won’t believe me
I just hope that one day you do.

The thought of her makes me smile.
Here we go.
She sits
Above the red leather
I peek above my wall
I see her noting down
Hair tied
As she looks up
At me she smiles and grins
The phone rings
So she hits ignore
I contemplate
I can’t ignore
Her presence
The aura she brings
Brightens up my dreams
The love she gives
Undeniably something never seen
That is before
I open my mouth
And let diarrhea
Spill.

After staring at my screen and reading it a few times, I replied to an anonymous question with a quick answer. When I shook the thought of it, I got another and yet another question. I couldn’t stop thinking about the subject so I decided to elaborate on it and turn it into a entry. Here it is:

First and foremost, Karen is a fictional character.
Second, this blog is filled with poems and writing about my feelings and thoughts. Although all my writing is based on my personal life, this is a place where I just want to let go of my thoughts. Comments are welcomed, I just ask that you don’t beat up my words too hard for its content.

this needs to stop
you are a bigger liar than
i
shit is just not real
you and me
you are psychotic
in ways
i
now
just realize

on your defense
i’m crazy too
so this should simply end

i wish someone would listen
i wish someone would care
to take the time to hear me out and
care for the things that i say
i wish i had her by my side
i wish we could seat across each other and
share a meal
share the smiles
share the dreams
and visions
the silence
Hold
i ask for too much
this is far too much
such person does not exist
take your pick but you cannot have it all.
so i’ll just take a bite off this cake,
and
grow
that’s it.

Back where I started. Celebrating that today sucked, but tomorrow is a new day. #wine (Taken with instagram)

Essentials
(Taken with instagram)

SD #Padres #baseball (Taken with instagram)

the more i think
the more i hurt myself
the more i think
the more empty I feel inside
the more i think
the more i want to run and hide
the more i think
the more i realize this isn’t right.